Spontaneity & planning are complimentary, Verses Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

For over 15 years I had a friend who suffered with OCD and planned every event. Every fortnight we would meet as a group in a pub and then go to a restaurant for a meal. He was correct in planning the next meet up, because restaurants are often fully booked at the weekend. The problem is he would try to plan things for the next 3 meet-ups, there and then, (6 weeks in advance), to find out if everyone could come. He would try to plan everything he did, and thus never did anything spontaneous or unplanned, unless we as a group managed to persuade him to try something new (such as a food dish).

When he arrived in the pub he would apologize if he was even one minute late, and give a detailed account of his journey there.Every time we met as a group he would try to verbally confirm who was going to be at the various regular annual events: Southend seaside trip, Alton Towers amusement park in August, a BBQ at mine in July, A bonfire party in November, A Halloween dinner party in October, and Six Birthday parties. These things happened every year, and every year he would try to verbally confirm who was definitely coming, might be coming, etc, in advance.

We stopped being friends 2 years ago because his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder was really getting to me and I begged him to get help. Planning is always good, but over planning does spoil an event.

The opposite is true with my partner SK. We always have loose plans. We have visited various museums and National Trust properties, and even changed our plans once we were on the way there. Such changed plans were always ones where we were not meeting other people, it was just the two of us.

I spent years tolerating an OCD friend, so now I appreciate spontaneity even if my plans for the day go pear shaped. I like living without a daily timetable schedule of forthcoming planned fun-time events.

Planning and spontaneity are complimentary. There needs to be balance between the two.