its too early in the morning for this

Last night I didn't get much sleep.

I was randy and SK needed some sleep so I got out of bed at midnight and read my book in the front room for an hour. I looked at porn on the web but my favourite site kept crashing. I stumbled back into bed at 1am.

Its 8am now. I was woken at 5.20am by SK demanding a serious conversation.

"Whats going to happen if you die?"

"Have you sorted out your will yet?"

"Did you get it signed?"

My union helped me draft up my will. I just need to sign it in front of 2 witnesses, one of whom my solicitor preferrs to be my union rep. I have to go through my regional union rep, so that means booking an appointment to visit his office and getting it signed.

I do worry about SK. I wrote my will so my mum gets some cash and so do my friends but I leave my house & remaining property to SK. She is the love of my life and when I'm gone I know my parents will give my flat to my mentally ill brother and he will be tricked into signing it away to some con man. In other words my parents & brother don't need it, but I want to safeguard SK just in case something happens to me.

Yesterday I got very upset about the Polish careworker who got shot in a gun fight in Lewisham, south London. I don't know what I'd do if that happened to SK??? I think it must have been praying on her mind this morning.

5.20am is the wrong time for these questions.

I got grumpy and ignored her, then after sharp elbowing I answered.

Write it on a post-it note and put it on the fridge and I'll do it Monday I said

But what if something happens before you get it signed?

I don't plan to die today

But what if something happens

Write it on the fridge list and I will do it I said

I love her but she can be very annoying - Grhhh!!!!

She phoned me 30 min after leaving for work. It was to talk about money worries. I can't hear her as she walks and talks and she mumbles when she is upset - grhhhh!

I made her promise to talk to me when she gets home at 9pm tonight, but I know she won't be worrying about such things then. Its first thing in the morning that she has these thoughts. This is NOT the first time it has happened.