Respect

We all want it and we all think we deserve it.

I want my Dad to treat me equally but he doesn't and never will.
He always talks over me. He puts me down. He never says anything supportive.
I stopped going round for family Sunday dinners in May because I could stand it any longer.
More than anything my partner SK has expressed her disgust at his attitude to me.

I also want more respect from SK. When we argue she sometimes loses her temper. She has hit me twice, and I deserve more respect than that. I have told her to get help or leave.

I love her, but cannot accept her violence. I have had enough of that from my Dad and won't put up with it from someone else.

'On my god my nickname is tripod because I have have a huge Johnson rod'

Sorry no cock pics here lol

Making things better

Its been fun making up with SK.We seem to be so much more in sync together again. She even put on her slutty school uniform outfit in the bedroom ;-)

She has again dodged out of seeing our GP to discuss anger issues. Hmmmmmph. I will insist when she is next off shift that she goes.

Its odd she can control her temper with others, but with me totally loses it during rows. I am not the one who has caused her all the pain she carries. She can control her temper at work and with other people.

Two days ago we were rowing about some minor things.

She said she had had enough of London and me and was leaving me.....

I tried to smooth things over by asking what was wrong, I touched her and tried to cuddle her.

She pushed me away, then out the blue, whacked me with her hand across my face knocking me back a bit. It was a blow with real force behind it.

I was 'stunned' for a moment.

Then I said "fine, you want to leave? Go! I am not living with someone who is violent".

I sat in the front room and ate the breakfast I had just finished cooking for both of us.

She cried...then came in the front room and stood in front of me.

She blamed me for making her loose her temper.

Called me patronising for telling her she had a choice about being violent.

Then asked "I want a cuddle. Why won't you get up a hold me?"

I said "because I don't want to be hit again. Touching you is what made you hit me. You had no reason to strike me"

We talked about anger issues, and my hating violence because my Dad used to knock me around as a kid. Then we made up.

I won't react to her violence. I won't strike back. I just stayed calm and told her to choose between getting help or walking out the front door. I had enough violence as a child to know I will not suffer it again, or accept the excuse of 'You made me loose my temper', I heard that enough from my Dad. Everyone has a choice about violence.

I know part of her BDSM kink is a way of dealing with her childhood, but I will not accept responsibility for her anger when she is spoiling for an argument.

I wonder if this post will be censored?

first 2 weeks of November 2007

My garden work has been progressing. I have built the lower part (base) of the concrete step for outside my back garden door. When I ripped out the patio I had nothing to step on to ;-)

The lower base part (ground level) is built and slowly setting. I still have the upper step to build. I forgot how long it takes 'sharp sand' to set properly. Its just like a sandcastle for the first few days and then rock hard weeks later.

We visited the Fireworks display on the Thames on the 10th of November. The website said the fireworks would last from 5pm to 5.30pm. We got there late and it all stopped at 5.15pm

On the the Bright side it has made SK say she would like to see the New Years Fireworks on the Thames; Last year she just wanted to stay in and not go out.

Staying in for a cuddle is great, but our plans to leave have made her more ready to view London's sights. Yesterday we went to the Natural History Museum, later this week we will visit the V&A Museum.

I got quite a bit of feedback about my interview technique. I need to keep my mouth shut about discussing my personal life and just be more enthusiastic about the job I'm being interviewed for. Its a shame we can't all be honest in interviews, but if I am competing with liars then I should remember to be expected to lie about the company and how much I want to work there.

SK is not happy about her Rabbit. It developed a fault to it kept cutting out when close to orgasm. She ordered a new one from a website using my Paypal account (my ebay junk paid for it) but the new mini one she got didn't work. The connectors inside it didn't touch so it wouldn't vibrate. I am sending it back today.